Star Wars News



Star Wars News:
Long time companions R2-D2 and C-3PO were married on the planet Ossus in the remote outer rim territory. Ossus is believed by some scholars to be the home of the first Jedi temple. The ceremony was performed by Jedi Master Luke Skywalker in the remains of the old Jedi temple.


The service was a Jedi service. C-3PO is a Creatorist but R2 has been involved in the Jedi religion for a long time. R2 was first exposed to the religion during the battle of Naboo. He spent time at the Jedi temple on Coruscant where he befriended Skippy the Jedi Droid. He also spent some time on Dagobah with the Jedi Master Yoda who he had previously known while on Coruscant.


R2 have never been baptized into the religion though. C-3PO explained, “it would literally fry his circuits.”
C-3PO wore a dress designed by John Mollo. C-3PO was walked down the aisle by Force Ghost Anakin Skywalker.


Those in attendance included your typical A-listers like Han, Leia, Boba Fett, Romba, E.T., and others. Some B-list celebrities also in attendance include the likes of Thall, Joben, Kea Moll, Chewbacca, and Stewart Copeland of the Police. Even some D-list stars were invited including Johnny-5, a B-9-M-3 bot, Chip Carson, Kim Kardashian, Maximilian, Rex, and others.
Noticeably absent was Jar-Jar Binks. When asked to comment R2-D2 said, “bleep boop, beep, WHOOO!” Jar-Jar was quoted as saying, “Mesa Bombad.” His strange comments only fuelled speculation that he is in fact a Sith Lord.


In other news the wedding sparked debate over Xenophobia. Chewbacca was the first to raise a complaint. He cited is placement at table 19 instead of a much closer table, failure to be awarded a medal after the destruction of the first Death Star, and finally Rey getting the Millennium Falcon after Han’s death.


Chewbacca has already taken the Millennium Falcon case to court. He claimed the last minute change of wills was not signed in Han’s handwriting. The judge sided in favor of Rey. Chewbacca claimed Rey used a Jedi mind trick on the judge. The judge then found Chewbacca in contempt of court and he was fined 200 credits.
That ends this weeks top Star Wars new stories. See you next time, and may the farce be with you.


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